Pain in the....

I have not been on the computer very much the last week. I did get on the internet for a little bit, you know I cant go cold turkey, but being on the computer was painful.

Why?

Well apparently all my mouse work injured my wrist and it was painful to use a mouse. It also caused much pain in my everyday life too. So I gave up my computer until I healed. It hurt so much. My husband thought it may be carpal tunnel, as he is a computer tech and is having issues with carpal tunnel right now. He insisted that I wear his wrist brace one night while we slept as he felt that It would help and I might stop complaining about all the agony I was in (what me complain, really would I do that, I am not over dramatic, am I?)

So I wore his brace for one night. It was horrendous the next day. My wrist was ten times worse than before I wore the brace. I think isolating an aching muscle is not the best treatment. I am pretty sure stretching and keeping it active is the recommended treatment. My husband bought me a mouse pad that has a wrist rest made of memory foam and that seemed to help a bit.

So after I got that darn thing off, I started icing and stretching and not using the computer and in no time, 4 days, I was healed. Hooray. I am so glad, and lucky, that I do not have carpal tunnel.

And now I am back to to keep you more abreast of my life. Don't you feel lucky?

Updates on life

So Tyler came back from his first ever home visit. My older girls never had a home visit, or even an unsupervised visit. So this was new for us. But things went well. I called the birth mother daily to see if she needed anything and to see how things were going. Ya know, to provide support. She slept a lot as she slept every time he slept. Lucky her, only one kid, ah those were the days.

So she called on Sunday morning asking for more formula, so we dropped by before church to drop some off. Tyler was thrilled to see me and jumped from her arms to mine and clung to me. As she showed me around her place, he would lean from me to her and go back and forth between the both of us. It looked liked he had really bonded with her. It was wonderful to see him so attached, she co-slept and gave him her undivided attention so it turned out to be a really good thing.

I cried as I was leaving, it continues to break my heart. I cried at church and I cried driving back over to pick him up after church. I wanted to find a small corner, curl up in a ball and bawl my head off. Do you ever feel like that, that you just need to cry until there are no more tears.

So he is home with us. His birthmother gave him a styling hair cut. It is super cute, he all buzzed on the back and sides with extra hair on top.


Well he will leave again tommorow for a full day visit with her and then again for a four day weekend. This will be the pattern until the beginning of May. At that time if all is still going well, he will go home for good. (cry cry cry)

So there it is....

In other news. Jennedy bit her lip, you can see her 3 teeth distinctly cutting into the flesh. Ewww.


Jerika knocked out a baby tooth. She said it was not loose, that she hit her knee on her mouth and out it came. There was a lot of blood, but at least it was a baby tooth and was destined to come out sooner or later. She is super excited for the tooth fairy to come and give her money tonight.
Well there you have it. Good bye and thanks for reading.

I miss him all ready, but am enjoying the extra sleep.

So Tyler is gone for the next four days. He is with his birth mother. They are really starting the transitioning for him to go live with her. Last week he did 4 days of visits, this week starts the overnights. I held it together until the worker left but cried as I watched the caseworker buckling him into the car.

The plan is to have him back in her care in 6 weeks. So So Sad!!!! We are all going to miss him so much.

Still, I remain in a very good place about his return home. I am sad, I would be a robot if I was not sad, but I think he will be OK with his birth mom.

She is doing so well, is stable and loves him so much. I think she will be able to care for him very well. I am happy for her. She has worked so hard to get her children back and has failed until now. Now she gets to have her baby, I am thrilled for her, sad for us but so happy for her.
She is my friend. She gave birth to my girls too and so I love her.

I am very lucky to have such a strong relationship with her, I really like her, she is such a nice good person. She cant help that her childhood limited her ability to grow up with skills to take care of children. The great thing is that she is older now and more mature and has learned many many new parenting skills. She has taken classes, is in a young mothers group, and has watched me and copied the way I parent and she has become a good mother. So there is no reason to worry or be angry at her.

It is interesting how I have such different emotions at the same time. I want her to have her child, because she is his mom too. I also want him to stay with me, because I am his mother too and love him with all my heart.

A truly wonderful thing is that I will always have Tyler in my life. I have adopted his sisters and do visits with the birth mom often, so he will never be lost to me. I am also there to help if they need me. I can be a refuge for him if things get hard at home with her. I hope they never do but I can be here if he needs me.

Yesterday the caseworker and her supervisor came over to discuss things and I felt like two different people. One who is desperately trying to keep her baby, and one who is so happy for her friend who gets her son back because she is well enough to have him. It is amazing that you can have both feelings at the same time. You can!!! I do!!!!

So try not be too sad for us, things are OK, we will get through this, there will be tears and sadness but there could not be a better situation for a child to return to his birth mom, than the one that we have.

I love him, miss him but boy are things easier with only four children. I hope that does not sound selfish, but I really enjoyed getting sleep today, not getting up with a baby in the middle of the night, not having to worry about what he is getting into and what he needs.

I have so many opposite feelings don't I. I am just in a weird circumstance and am living each moment with honesty and without guilt. I have to do it my way and always look for the positive. That is just the way I was made.

Beauty

My kids and I have been watching the Toddlers and Tiara's show on Bravo and we love it!!!

So some days when we are watching it, we pause the DVR and the kids do their versions of pageant walks. They are super cute and we have so much fun. Now I doubt that I will ever put them in pageants. Not because I think they are bad, it is just too expensive. Still my girls love the glitz and glamor of playing dress up and we often do hair and make up as well as dress in pretty dresses.

So I told them that today we could have our own pageant. Our freinds were over for the sleepover and Cole thier son joined us, We have had so much fun. We put all their hair in curlers, did their hair really big ( that did not last long) and put on make up and dresses. Then we did head shots. You have to have them for the judges you know.
Here they are...






Then we did our show. Here are some little video clips of their walks which are so cute it is funny.

Jerika learns to ride a bike

Yesterday I taught Jerika how to ride a bike with out training wheels. I had so much fun and she was so determined. I was amazed at how she had such an upbeat positive attitude. Even when she would fall, which was often, she would just laugh and get up and make a joke then jump back on and try again. I had so much fun with her. It took about a half an hour but now she is riding a bike.
I love her little personality. She is just so happy and spunky. I thought it would be hard or a battle, and was so surprised what a joy it was to teach her. When dad got home from work we went out and showed him that his eldest had learned to ride a bike. He was one proud daddy and I am one proud mommy. Isn't life great?!!!!!


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

We invited our Friends, the Conner's over again for a sleep over. See they come over a lot and we love them to death. Well, we always stay up way to late, sometimes til 3 am, so their poor son either loses out on sleep or falls asleep. So this weekend we decided to have them sleep over again.

Last time we had them sleepover in our guest room was when we had our Risk tournament with them. Dawn won by the way and she and I decimated our husbands. That game takes a long time so we had them sleep over and it was so fun we decided to do it again this weekend.

We are not playing Risk, but we are playing on the computer and watching movies. They will also stay most all of the day tomorrow too.

Joe and Mike are building a huge shelf unit for food storage rotation rack. They have been designing it since last week and bought all the supplies but wanted to wait to build it until our sleepover and subsequent Saturday fun.

I am teaching Dawn all my cool digi-scraping and she and I will be doing that most of the day tomorrow and maybe some tonight.

Her son will play with our kids, and I am pretty sure I will be in charge of the kids while the men are playing with their power tools.

Well there it is, grown adults have a slumber party. Yeah we are so youthful that way.

Hunger

So Trenton has suddenly decided that he is hungry(poor little starving bugger). Which is wonderful, but he acts like a maniac that hasn't eaten in weeks. He screams his little lungs out until he gets some food. And no it is not easy figuring out what he will eat. When he is in the screaming, hungry, demented mood there is nothing that he will eat.

Still he is so hungry. This morning was in a tormentor mood. He was screaming like a banshee when he woke me up this morning. I actually thought he was hurt. Nope, just hungry.

I brought him to the fridge and started pointed at food, he was screaming most of the time, he did stop at each food item I pointed too, just to say no. (Yeah he has learned the word no.) Yogurt, No! Pudding, no! Bread no! Eggs no! Any other food in the fridge, NO!!

We went to the pantry, then the cupboards, then back to the fridge. Finally he settled on string cheese. I also poured him some orange juice, which he said no to, but when it was in a cup he understood what it was and hungrily drank it.

So the cheese was about a third eaten when he started going stark rave mad again. Apparently he no longer wanted cheese.

Once again I took him to the cupboards and he wanted Cashews. What?!? I know that cashews are delicious but he is a baby, babies are not supposed to eat nuts right.

But the crying continued so I gave him cashews. He was in heaven. I did bite them into smaller pieces so that he would not choke easily. Boy does that kid have expensive tastes in breakfast food. After eating the cashews and orange juice he was tamed and the screaming stopped.

Boy I must say I can not wait to see what he wants for snack and lunch. He will probably want popcorn (he loves the stuff) Once again another choking hazard. Why does he only like the foods that could possibly kill him. Ugh.

Yes and he does love hot dogs too. What is up, all three of the foods that the American Pediatric Society says not to feed small children, I think even children under five.

What do they want me to do? Let him starve.
I wont do it. If he will eat, I will give it to him and stand by at the ready with my child CPR and Heimlich maneuver skills. He hasn't choked yet. What else can I do. Little punk. Someday he will be normal right? I sure hope so!!!

Jennedy cut her hair!!!

This was Jennedy's Hair before she found the scissors this morning and decided to be a beautician. So long and lovely!


Here she is as she was found by me, after Jerika ran upstairs to tell me that Jennedy was cutting her hair.

Here is the picture after I decided I had some skill and could even it up. Boy was I wrong.

And Here she is after a trip to the Salon. The hair stylist said. "This is very bad, I will try to make it as good as I can but it wont be perfect."




Isnt she a pretty little stinker.

Kid day

So another day about my kids. Fun fun fun!!

Tyler is really into pulling himself up on things and should be walking soon. He loves to be tickled, he has the absolute cutest laugh, and I can get him to laugh anytime I want with a little tickling. Check out his two cute little baby teeth.

__________________________________________________

Trenton is a ham, he always wants to do what his sisters are doing. He loves to get on the computer like them and put on the headphones. He also loves wearing hats, and head bands, and anything that he can put on his head. I think he likes the attention he gets when he puts anything on. We all laugh and give him lots of attention because it is so dang cute. Here he is putting on the headphones at the computer.

___________________________________________________

Jennedy is now two and a half and boy is it fun. She is a chatter box! But a chatter box that is impossible to understand.

She talks very quickly, I ask her to repeat what she just said and she races through it again. Then I ask her to slow down, then I tell her I have know Idea what she is saying, then she does some signs or acts something out while talking and then I get it. It is super super fun!!!

Love that kid!!!

______________________________________________

Jacqueline loves to play on the computer now. She is all about facebook and a game called pet society, she has a little pet that she takes care of for her dad and she loves to play it. She also practices her hand stands for gymnastics constantly throughout the day. She is a bundle of energy and a huge chatty gal.

______________________________________________

Jerika keeps asking me to cut her bangs again. She is growing them out and they drive her crazy. I do say yes sometimes but when I go to get the scissors she changes her mind. I hope she does not cut them herself like she did the first time.