Getting my Groove back.

I got my groove back. I had a great day yesterday. I actually did everything I expect myself to do in the day of my life. I cleaned. Yup, those crumbs on the counter were washed away, several times during the day. I swept, mopped, vacuumed, and even bleached the crap out of the tub. Yup things were looking good. Well it does not last. That clean house. But it was good while it lasted. Now I am back to my old self of keeping things looking good and getting on with my life.

Here I am today finishing up my 8th load of laundry, well two are still in the machines, but I am really being the great house keeper my mother raised me to be.

Hooray, I am crawling back on top from under the sadness of loss.


So on Sunday we went and saw Tyler.

My kids were saying how much they missed him after church and so I called the birth mother and asked if we could come visit. She was not at home, she was at a friends. But she said she would meet us at her house. Wasn't that sweet, she drove home so we could visit. It was so nice to hold him in my arms, he was asleep so he was not squirming to get away as most 11 months old do. So I just got to sit and cuddle him and kiss his head and love his little guts out.

Trenton had fallen asleep in the van on the way over and so I stayed outside the van with the van parked in the shade with the doors open and held Tyler while both my boys slept. Birth mom took the girls inside and fed them pudding and Caprisons. I felt so lucky to have that time alone to love on him. He woke up later in the visit and you could clearly see that he had missed all of us. He was so excited to see us. It was a nice visit.

One of my friends commented that my situation is similar to a divorced couple regarding getting to see our kids. Birth mom can call me any time to visit and I can do the same with her. The good thing is that we like each other and that is better than most divorced couples.

Yesterday Trenton and I were looking at my blog and he got so excited when he saw Tyler on the screen. It was then that I realized how much he too was missing his brother. I am just happy that we will continue to get to see him. I feel blessed for that.