I am definitely in a funk. I just dont feel like doing everything that I used to do. I have not vacuumed in days and there is much need of a vacuuming job. I have not made my kids clean up the playroom in days either. I did not even shower yesterday. I feel like my house is a mess. Not like the mess of things everywhere but the deep down mess that only a vacuum, mop and some strong cleaner can clean.
Ugh, I dont feel like doing it.
It has been a hard year with losing my baby and Tammy, my baby sister, dying. I feel overwhelmed with emotion and that is causing me to be lazy.
My mother would not be proud of my house. She is an avid vacuumer and always wipes of kitchen counters too, not me, at least not the last few days. There are crumbs on my counters and I have no energy to wipe them up.
My kids are bathed and dressed and fed and loved. (They are sick with ugly colds, that muck up their eyes with crusties) But the other stuff, the stuff that makes me feel good when it is done, is being neglected.
Perhaps I am just being lazy and am using my losses as an excuse to neglect the cleaning. Who knows.
Anyways on to cuter things....
Jennedy cracks me up, one thing I want to remember about this stage in our life is how she calls people "apple pie"
"Goodnight daddy apple pie." I love it.
This came about because when we would see a pumpkin in a book she would call it apple pie. It made us laugh, and since she is a comedian she continued to say it, at the funniest times and we would laugh more. Then it spread to everything else, she loves getting a laugh. So sometimes she will say I love you mommy. And I will say I love you too apple pie and she laughs and it is so adorable. I am so glad I am writing this down so I will always remember this special time with her.
Second I want to remember how when Jennedy has a runny nose she comes up to me and says "Mom, my nose is running out" I laugh every time.
Kids make life worth it don't they.
Excellente! Perfecto!
5 years ago
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3 people feeding my addiction to comments:
Tiffany, I didn't know that you sister had passed away. I can't even imagine to understand what that must be like, and I think a funk is very understanding.
Thinking of you!
Tif, I try to let people express without offering unsolicited advice usually, but I'm gonna hop in here.
I don't think you're lazy. I think you're sad/depressed about Tyler, and that zaps your energy and makes you not want to clean, and then the dirty house bums you out even more, and it just turns into a vicious little spiral. (I know this spiral, as I have seen it first-hand myself!) There's also probably a part of you that doesn't want things to be "back to normal" because then it would be like you just moved on without Tyler like it ain't no thang. And it is a thang. Your outward environment is an expression of what you're feeling inside right now.
Just convince yourself to clean ONE room (you can pick the smallest or easiest one), even if you don't want to. It'll feel good to be doing something constructive and taking some control of your situation since the control has been taken away in other ways, and it'll start to re-energize you. I promise! You just have to re-direct the spin of your spiral!
Kids defiantly make life better. You totally have an excuse for some down time, what is most important is that you are still in there being the great mother you always have been. Kids don't really care how messy it is if their mother is still loving them the same.
I haven't felt like cleaning for the last 4 days, I think us housewives sometimes look at the house and say "really I have to clean the kitchen for a forth time today..." So give yourself a break..enjoy your babies. Then dig back in, you know you will.
You mom used to hate it when I would sweep her kitchen floor, she told me once that Josh had a girlfriend who would sweep the floor, and they broke up...so I better stop it. I guess she was right.
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